#AshTag Wednesday

“It’s Ash Wednesday. Let us spread the #ashtag”

Today, the Catholic Church celebrates Ash Wednesday. This day marks the beginning of the Lenten season, or the 40-day period of fasting to prepare for the celebration of Jesus’ passion, death, and resurrection (Paschal Mystery). It is the season where we are reminded to repent from our sins, to fast and abstain, and to do charity works for the poor and needy.

It is an open secret here on Tumblr and in my blog that I am a former seminarian (or more appropriately, a seminarian on regency or break). I studied in the Seminary for eight years - from high school to college, and I have been writing reflections about Lent and being of service to the poor and the needy since I was twelve (I entered the seminary at a young age, so there goes the explanation).

But there is something that I have to confess to you. Something that whenever I remember those events, I have a mix feelings of being ashamed and laughing at it. During my first years in the high school seminary, I look at Ash Wednesday as a punishment. You see, even the required age for fasting and abstinence is 14, there are no exemptions in the Seminary (for obvious reasons, of course). I treat Ash Wednesday then as a ‘hunger strike day’ for we are only served one full meal during the day without merienda. And if you personally know my eating capacity, you will know why I despise a meal-less day.

As I grow up and as I learn more in the Seminary, my perspective has changed. And I should, because Seminary is a place of formation - spiritually, academically, socially, and formation as a mature, young man with the direction to the Priesthood. And even after I left the institution last March 2009 after graduating in Philosophy, even now that I am living in the real world away from the comforts of her confines, I continuously live (and share) most, if not all, the things that I have learned inside. There are no clear indications yet if I would return and pursue my Theological studies but the important thing is, I should and I must strive not to forget those good things.

 



 

Last night, I planned to attend the Ash Wednesday Mass at our Parish (outside the UPLB Campus). But when my mother told me that there will be a mass in their office (which is inside the campus), I decided to go there since it would be more convenient for me.

The Mass celebrant is Father Thor (Yes, Thor. He may not look like Chris Hemsworth but he is one of the nicest, and funniest priests that I know), the Parish Priest of Saint Therese of the Child Jesus Parish (the church inside UPLB). And I did not regret attending his mass. His homily moved me.

He started his homily sharing a stuff that he found on the internet. He said that a particular Christian denomination put up in their website that a mixture of ash and water burns the skin. As most of us know, the ashes being placed on our foreheads is a mixture of ashes (from the palms used on the previous year’s Palm Sunday) and (Holy) water. He consulted the Chemistry Professors of the University and they told him that yes, it is possible to burn one’s skin by a mixture of ash and water (he told us the name of the chemical compound but I forgot it) but the ashes used on Ash Wednesday have a very minimal effect to cause burning. So are they bluffing? Or scaring the faithful? We don’t know.

Why put ashes on our forehead? It is a reminder for us that we came from dust/earth and we would return to it after our death. Faher Thor told us that the mixture of ashes and water is very symbolic since ashes represents a lifeless man and water, the breath of God that created us (if you read the book of Genesis, this will be quite familiar to you). When God breathed to the earth, there was life.

So what is the challenge for us? Father told us that when the Priest (or the Minister) put ashes on our foreheads, this is a invitation for us to ‘return to the earth’. It is an invitation for us to be stoop down from our level, be ‘dirty’, and to be humble. After all, humility came from the Latin word humus which means earth or soil.

But how could we do that in these modern times where everything is fast and everyone is busy? That is where fasting and abstinence would enter. Fasting and abstinence is not just eating less and abstaining from meat. It is also doing less the things that we find addictive - television, alcohol, cigarettes, internet, and everything considered as ‘excess’ and not an essential. And when we have a free time after abstaining (and fasting) from these, then it would be the time to go back to the earth and be dirty.

And after all of these, during the celebration of the Easter Vigil (or the end of the 40-day preparation) and the blessing of fire and water, it is there when we would burn ourselves and walk to God, our savior. So basically, those who posted that a mixture of ashes and water will burn us, is in a way, correct.

Seminarians are known to Priests as omniscient creatures (it is a inside joke actually). I am guilty of this when I was in college since there are Priests and speakers who give us something that we already know and I (together with most of my brothers) would just fake our attention, pretending to be listening. I know, it is a sign of being proud and not being humble.

But I have learned my lesson today. Though I cannot say that I am totally doing it, I chose to listen and digest what Father has given us. I have learned that yes, we know things and sometimes, it is our expertise, but we should always be reminded. And we should see things from other people’s perspective.

The Season of Lent is about preparing ourselves. It is the period to give up something and be of service to the needy. Actually, as I have mentioned above, some of the things that we have saved during this season should go to helping the poor and the needy. Some would say that this is hypocrisy on our part, but should it be? I think doing something good at least during a particular period of a year is better than having done nothing at all. And as long as you know what you believe in, as long as you are steadfast on your faith, no hecklers, trolls, haters, and non-believers can shake you.

This is a period of giving up our excess. What would you give up? for me, I think it wold be extra rice. Aside from helping me lose wight, it will help those who are in need by giving them what I should have eaten for my excess consumption. (Lent, as they say, is the best way to lose weight and be of shape.)

In these modern times, is the celebration of Ash Wednesday still relevant? Yes. We need it more during these times when we seem to just think of ourselves and our personal gains.

Today is the beginning of the Lenten Season. Let us spread the #AshTag.Vaya con Dios!

Photo Above: A nun uses ash to mark a cross on the forehead of a believer outside the Baclaran church in Paranaque on the occasion of Ash Wednesday. The occasion marks the beginning of the season of Lent in the largely Roman Catholic country. (via ABS-CBNnews.com)

Elsewhere:

• The Word Exposed: Ashes - Manila Archbishop Chito Tagle’s catechism and reflection about Ash Wednesday. This is very informative.

Prom

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba4R_oxrLpg]

 

“Nanginginig na mga kamay. Ang puso kong hindi mapalagay. Puwede ba kitang tabihan? Kahit na may iba ka nang kasama..”

It’s prom season once again. They say that this is the most anticipated event in one’s high school life. A night of fun, glamour, good memories, and an unforgettable moment for teenage first love.

This is not a story for me to tell. I never had a chance to attend a Junior-Senior Promenade. I studied in an exclusive school for boys in High School.  And during my senior year, when we cross-enrolled at a nearby coed Catholic school, I was not able to attend the graduation ball (the nuns replaced the JS Prom with it for some reasons) because I was busy preparing for college then (nuks).

“Ito na ang gabing di malilimutan..”

Last Friday was a busy day for the parloristas here in Los Baños. Almost all high schools inside the UPLB Campus were having their JS Prom. And for my younger sister who is a junior in high school, that night was surely a memorable one.

She’s the family’s unica hija and the first among the siblings who will attend the JS Prom (My brother and I studied at the same high school.). So you can imagine how my parents, especially my Nanay, prepare for this once-in-a-lifetime event.

Days before the Prom, I ask her if she has already a date/partner for that night. She said yes but she won’t give us his name. My Nanay, with her awesome cyber esponage skills, managed to look for the guy and we found out that he’s nice. I jokingly told my sister that I’m gonna bring my zombie apocalypse kit on the night of her Prom just in case the guy mess up.

My sister was fetched in our house and went to the Prom with her barkada (not her date. Good for the guy, haha!). We basically let her do what she wanted on that special day. She went to the Prom while my Parents and I went to the muddy UPLB Feb Fair.

“Parang atin ang gabi. Para bang wala tayong katabi. Nang tayo’y sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw..”

They say that high school is the happiest stage of one’s life (though there are some who would beg to differ). Even Sharon Cuneta immortalized the tears and laughter of high school with the song High School Life. This is the stage of one’s formation, transformation, and self-discovery.

I may have not experienced Prom but let me share with you some of my a priori thoughts on it. Enjoy every single moment of it. It only happens once or twice in one’s life time. It is also training ground for a bigger world after school. It is where you learn etiquette, decorum, and where you test your self-esteem ad self-confidence (by asking someone to be her date and not being a wallflower during the dance).

I know that there are more knowledgeable and credible persons out there to talk about this but what I only have here is a small story and a good music to share.

When I first heard this song by Sugarfree (with the Manila Syphony Orchestra), I was instantly amused by the David Pomeranz-penned King and Queen of Hearts introduction (a classic Prom song) before hitting the first drum beats and notes of one of the group’s famous anthems.

How was your prom? Is it nostalgic or a horror? And for the younglings reading my blog, are you excited to have one? I hope this song by Sugarfree help you reminisce on this cold, rainy weather.

Maraming salamat Ebe Dancel, Sugarfree, at Manila Symphony Orchestra sa napakahusay na awiting ito.



Photo Above: My sister and I minutes before she went to the Prom. And please excuse my ‘beer barrel belly’. Thank you very much.

Happy 23rd Anniversary Nanay and Tatay!

 

Today marks the 23rd wedding anniversary of my parents. 23 years of being a husband and wife, 23 years of being good parents, 23 years of ups and downs, 23 years of blessings and misfortunes, and 23 years of being together.

You have gone a long way in your marriage. You have been a good example to us, your sons and daughter. You have thought us to be God-fearing individuals and to be just to our neighbor. You are our idols.

In three years, you will be celebrating your Silver Anniversary. But let’s aim for fifty years just like Lolo and Lola. And when that day comes, I want both of you to sing Adam Sandler’s Grow Old With You.

I love you Nanay and Tatay from the bottom of my heart and from the wholeness of my substantial, corporeal, living, and rational soul. Nuks!

Photo taken at Kamay ni Hesus Healing Center, Lucban Quezon. I asked them to pose on ‘The Temptation’ statue of Adam and Eve for art’s sake - and for them to be reminded that whatever temptations may come along the way, they should still be together as one.

It's More Fun in The Republic

This is not actually a fun read but I just used the new campaign of the Department of Tourism to get your attention.

With the great attention of the social media users, myself included, on the Department of Tourism’s new slogan earlier today, I almost forgot that today, January 6, 2012, is my blog’s second anniversary.

And as a tradition I learned from some of David Karp’s Cyber Empire’s sensiblestory tellers, here is an obligatory anniversary post from Juan Republic.

It all started on one hot morning of January 6, 2010. I was bored. And irritated. I quit my job in Manila as a researcher and I have yet to look for a decent, new job. I need to do something productive to keep my sanity.



 

And then it came to me. I must write. It’s productive. It will keep my sanity. And at the same time, I will learn in writing even after I graduated from College.

When I was still in College, we have an obligatory reflection notebook / journal. It is where we write our reflection/meditation for the day and how our day went through, the lessons we learned, and if there’s any, inspirational points that we would like to share with the world.

Also, most of our Philosophy subjects require a bi-semester reflection paper wherein we must apply what we have learned and write it as a reflection/ realization paper. (And I swear, it helped me understand the subjects more! Maybe I should do it to my future students.)

It would be a waste if I just keep those stuff with myself so I decided to share it. I have compiled some of my journal entries and most of my reflection papers and published it online via Friendster Blog and Multiply (during the heydays of the site). There, I met new people who share the same idea and who understand and like what I have written.

Fast forward to late 2009, Multiply is slowly turning into a market place and Friendster, yeah, the Friendster that we knew. So I started looking for anotherhome. I tried Blogger but its interface is eating me alive. (My school locked us from technology and the internet so I was like, back to zero during that time.) And then I discovered Tumblr, who promised that it is the easest way to blog.

I already know that Tumblr exists back in 2008 but I thought that it is just a site for pictures, typographies, and more post-processed and vintage-looking pictures.

I created my Tumblr on January 6, 2010 during the last glorious days ofTumblarity but I did not immediately post my old entries. I tried to familiarize myself and imitated the posts of the blogs that I follow - photos, one liners, and viral photos from the internet.

 



 

A screen cap from my archves. My first month on Tumblr.

And I fell in love with it. I got hooked with it. The next thing I knew, I got addicted to it.

My first year on Tumblr marked numerous posts (1,047 to be exact). Maybe because I have more time. Maybe because I am more inspired to share. Maybe because Tumblr, back then, is more fun than the Tumblr that we knew today.

But on my second year on Tumblr, I began to post rarely. Or let’s just say, I would post a stuff but will immediately delete it after an hour or two.

Maybe because I want my blog to be organized? Maybe because I don’t want to see less sensible posts on my page? Maybe because I want my blog to be aserious blog? Maybe because Tumlblr is less fun in 2011 compared to 2009 and 2010? Or maybe because I have matured as a blogger?

From 1,047 posts on 2010, it went down to 150 (this one excluded) on 2011.

Do I regret anything? No. It is my choice. And reading my 150 posts on my second year, I must say that it was all worth the bandwidth and space on your dashboard.

As I begin another year of fun on this blogging platform, I promise myself to refrain from post-and-delete habit and be an inspiration to my followers with my story, my opinion, and my views on society, politics, current events, and pop culture.

I would like to thank the people who became a part of my journey - my Tumblr buddies, the eLBikada, my readers, my followers (Yeah, there’s a difference between the two of them) and my Idol Tumblristas who have inspired me here.

Coincidentally, I got my new antipara today on the second anniversary of my blog.

New antipara means an adjusted vision. I can see more clearly now.

 



 

Vision. The Former Archbishop of Manila, Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales once said that to live without a vision is a treason. I see my blog this year as more fruitful compared to the last. More stories, more opinion, more heckling, and more stuff that will let you see the lighter side of things (Nuks!).

I am not your usual komedyante and humor blogger here on Tumblr. But I will try my best to put a smile on your faces and not regret clicking the plus button somewhere up there.

If the Mayans were right, this year will be our last. Let’s make the best out of it. Tumblr may have declined from a fun site that we used to know but that should not stop us from sharing stories, right?

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a fun ride.

Maraming salamat sa inyong lahat! Padayon!

This is for the second anniversary of my blog on Tumblr. I just decided to repost it here. Lke I always do.

Elsewhere:

• The Republic Turns One - My post during my first year here on Tumblr. This includes my first Tumblr crushes and the people I thank during those year. Yay!


• The Killer Adobo - My Photo/Photography Blog. I promise to revive it SOON!


• The Beatle Republic - My other blog dedicated to my obsession with The Beatles.

Twenty-Two

It has been a tradition in the seminary to do a “mini-sermon” or sharing of reflection during the Holy Mass whenever one is celebrating his birthday. I never had my chance to deliver one since my birthday always fall on the day when seminarians are still on their summer vacation.

So here am I, writing and sharing to you what I am suppose to deliver in front of the congregation. Join me in my reflection and thanksgiving as I celebrate my 22nd birthday.

It’s an open secret to the people whom I met in the internet that I am a Seminarian, a Prayle-wannabe. And only a few handfuls knew my whole story.

It has been more than 2 years since I left the Seminary to undergo an advised regency – or break – to fix myself in the real world. And supposedly, this year will be my return to pursue my 5-year theological studies before being ordained a deacon, and eventually, a Prayle (or a Damaso, depending on how you view my comrades).

I chose not to return this year for personal reasons. And I still don’t know if I would still return in the seminary to pursue my vocation and dream of being a Priest. Let me share with you some of my reasons.

First, my two (2) years have been wasted. I have no permanent job much more an “alternative career” to weigh down my options if I am really for the Priesthood or not. I only have had contractual jobs, sidelines, and rakets. My last job as an editor was home-based so I had no notion of office, officemates, workplace, etc. Currently, I am still looking for a company to work at and who will give me experience and lessons needed for my growth. (Yes, I am not after for the salary and compensations.)

Second, since I wasted my two years, I still lack the experience which will measure my growth into maturity and balance between Priesthood and a life of an ordinary bachelor. When I graduated last 2009, I promised myself that I will travel, meet new people and do things that I have been deprived of during my eight (8) years in the Seminary. I want to do”a million other things”.

Third, during the past 2 years, I have done things which are not appropriate for a Prayle-wannabe like me. I hurt people. And I still haven’t fixed those broken relationships yet. I don’t want to return to the seminary with a heavy heart and a feeling of guilt.

Fourth, I am still undecided with my vocation. Following the principle in ethics “in doubt, do not act”; I do not want to enter the seminary with a disposition of doubt. I think it will be unfair to God, to the Church, and to her people if I leave the Priesthood just because I pursue my theological studies without being sure of myself (Manangs and those who are forcing me to return immediately to the Seminary, I hope you can read this).

Those are the four major reasons why I opted not to return to the Seminary this year.

But as in all journey, life must go on. Today, I am celebrating my twenty second birthday. Some would say that I look older than my actual age. Some, especially bus conductors and jeepney barkers, would call me “Totoy”.

But if you would ask me, I still feel that I am the same 19-year old young man who graduated in the Seminary more than two years ago. I’m just 37.4 pounds heavier (and yes, I know that it is not healthy).

My life today is not much different from where I left. I am currently a Sunday School teacher in our Parish. Teaching catechism to children ages 12 and below gives me a sense of fulfillment. It is a noble apostolate. I also call it as a "defense Against the Dark Arts" post since teaching those kids prayers and Jesus Christ, his teachings of light and truth, is the best defense against the evil one.

Beat that Severus Snape!

Despite all the bitterness, drama and tragedy, I am still thankful for the 2 years outside that the Prayles gave me to explore the real world. Though lack in experience and incomplete, I have learned to see life in a different perspective. I have learned to see the reality in the eyes of ordinary people - away from the comfort zones of the seminary. My life in the seminary is quite spoon fed. I have learned here in the real world to stand and to do things on my own.

I am thankful to the people who became part of my journey for this past 2 years outside the Seminary. The nurses and staff of ASEAN RISK, Lipid Research Unit of Philippine General Hospital where I first worked. Technically. My comrades, my brother seminarians, my support group who continue to guide their prodigal brother. My Titas, Ates, and Kuyas in Sunday School who continue to inspire me to return to the seminary. To my former boss in the publishing company, thank you for the opportunity Sir Eugene. To the people whom I met here in David Karp's cyber empire, most especially to the eLBikada - thank you for the laughters, tears, booze, smoke, and love.

I would also like to thank the people who became part of my journey for 22 years.My parents, my family, and the Prayles (where I spent more than half of my life living with them).

I would also like to ask for forgiveness to the people whom I hurt - consciously and unconsciously. I hope we can start a new beginning.

This journey of 22 years has been fun. And I would like to start a new journey with hopes and dreams that this will also be a good one. Let's aim for 90 years? Why not/ If the Japanese can do it, why can't I?



Thank you everyone for (wasting) spending your time reading this. I hope that you will also be part of my journey, Let's walk together into the fullness of life.

May God bless us all today, tomorrow, and forever. Padayon!

Driven by The Force

I have a confession to make. I am a Star Wars fan. Call me a geek but seriously, I am a die-hard fan of the universe created by George Lucas. I am also a Harry Potter fan but my obsession with Star Wars started when I was young long before I discovered the magical world of Harry Potter.

But I am not into the story of a dramatic young lady who is obsessed with a sparkling vampire but I will just leave it there.

I blame my obsession with Star Wars to my father. Back when I was still a little kid, he introduced me to the saga of Master Yoda, Luke Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Darth Vader. I can still remember how he brought home cutouts and scanned pages from the magazine about Star Wars. He even gave me printout of all the characters - from the whole Jedi council to the Ewoks - pasted in an illustration board and covered with a plastic cover.

That's how my obsession for Star Wars started. I have a cool father (sometimes I think he is a Jedi in disguise, seriously) and I am thankful.

And today, May 4, as what most of the Star Wars fan knew, is Star Wars Day.

Star Wars Day (also sometimes known as Luke Skywalker Day) because of the popularity of a common pun spoken on this day. Since the phrase "May the Force be with you" is a famous quote often spoken in the Star Wars films, fans commonly say "May the fourth be with you" (May 4th) on this day.

Last night (or earlier during the wee hours of the morning), I wrote about myobsession with covers and front pages of magazines and broadsheets. I decided to check the TIME Magazine cover archive and found this interesting covers on Star Wars and Science Fiction. What caught my attention was this favorite cover of mine which was released on 2002, when I was still in High School:



This was released prior to the showing of the second part (chronologically fifth) of the Star Wars saga. This issue contains a complete guide to the Attack of the Clones from characters to space ships and other vehicles.

And I have another confession to make.

I nenok-ed this issue in our library and cut the pages dedicated to Star Wars. I think The Force forced me to do so (insert evil grin here).

So much for my confession.

This particular installment came as a surprise for the fans of Master Yoda - myself included - when he, for the first time, used his light saber to battle Count Dooku. and I tell you, that was one of the most memorable sword fights in the history of movies.

Browsing the archives of Time Magazine's website and the web for Star Wars-related stuff brings back good memories of my childhood as a little Star Wars fan, sharing the story with my father. And I think this will last until I grow old, and probably, when I have children of my own.

I am still waiting George Lucas to create a 7th installment of this epic saga.

And just so you know, young ladies who know Order 66 have an edge to me. Shall we talk about Star Wars over a cup of coffee?

Happy Star Wars Day everyone! May The Force be with you!

Renewed

Last Saturday, March 19, Feast of Saint Joseph, My family and I attended the annual Lenten recollection at our Parish here at San Antonio de Padua  Church, Los Baños. The Priest who gave the recollection was Fr. Jerry Juarez from the diocese of Lucena (and I found out that we graduated from the same semianry). And it was a life-changing recollection for me.

I am not used on attending this knid of Parish recollection. Yeah, I am/was a Seminarian for eight years but there is this negative  characteristic/image among us seminarians that I continue to practice outside. Being omniscient. Being a badass know-it-all Prayle-wannabe. (Lipa) seminarians have this mentality of "alam ko na yang ibibigay mo sa aming talk". That's why some Priests are jokingly saying that seminarians are the most difficult audience to have your talk delivered to.

But this year, I decided to make a difference to my usual, know-it-all, badass mentality. I attended the Parish Recollection.

Fr. Jerry was your usual komedyanteng Prayle who uses his wit and sense of humor to connect to the people. And awesome was an understatement to describe this Priest.

He started his talk by pointing out our nature/characteristic to blame God during our time of trials, problems, and misfortunes. He pointed out different (and exaggerated) anecdotes from his Ministry as a Priest and his experience with the people to further stress out his point.

He continued delivering his talk with lots of funny anecdotes, few magic tricks, and comic punch lines and ended it with the Parishioners praying for one another.

After the recollection, I felt a sense of being reborn, refreshed, and renewed. I have been living a life away from what is being expected of me (as a Seminarian) and most of his words just pierced into my heart. Tagos pare!

Renewed. Blessed. Ecstatic. I do not have regrets on attending that recollection.

I have been giving talks, recollections and retreats to students and I have noticed that my material and style were quite old and boring. Paulit-ulit na lang ang sinasabi ko. Parang wala ng bago.


Yours truly during my recolllection with Grade 6 students of San Antonio de Padua Elementary School last March 11.

After attending the recollection, I was reviewed by Fr. Jerry on how to bring Jesus to the people. Meron akong mga bagong natutunan pero mas maraming mga bagay ang bumalik sa aking ala-ala. Mga bagay na dati kong alam na pero kinalimutan dahil naka-focus ako sa ibang bagay.

Yes, I know these things. But I need to hear them again and again from time to time.

Kapag sinabi mong alam mo na ang lahat ng bagay - o kapag hinog ka na - wala ng pagkakataon para lumago, para matutong muli.

Parang basong may tubig na kapag nilagyan ng tubig ay aapaw at masasayang lamang.

Learning is a life long process. Go back to the basics. Find time to reflect. Listen even though you already knew the message.

God's message is always new and applicable for us.

May God bless us all. Padayon!

Stranger

I blame it to David Karp and Morissey.

Imagine this scenario: I was browsing Tumblr while listening to the sad Bitish Pop anthems created by The Smiths. I was spinning Srangeways, Here We Come.

And I almost made the title of this blog entry Stranger, Here We Come.

For the first time after a year of blogging on David Karp's empire, I felt like a stranger.

Most of the kids I knew on Tumblr went to this mass Tumblr meet-up called the White Day at Venice Piazza, The Fort. And obviously, based on photos and posts on my dashboard, they had fun.

I opted not to go to this meet-up due to some reasons: my excuse number one, I have self-esteem issues (weh?), and most importantly, I have class and I cannot find a substitute teacher to replace me (Gwyneth Paltrow, where art thou?).

So much for my excuses.

There are just too many new faces on Tumblr and too many new friendships and barkadahans have been formed. And I am okay with that. This just proves that tumblr is different from other social networking sites (It's a blogging site in the first place).

And I feel like I don't belong to any of them.

Yeah, I belong to this eLBikada-UPLB Tumblr Community but since I have been "away from them" for a while, I am no longer updated with the new happenings and to the new people/Tumblristas added to the barkada. There are just too many new faces and I haven't met them yet (I have this selfish guideline that I will only follow a Tumblrista whom I met personally).

Should I blame myself for this feeling of isolation? Partly yes.

Before, I used to post personal stuff on my Tumblr blog. Back in the day when I was just like an ordinary dude who is trying to make a difference, one post at a time. And during that time, I feel "connected" with other people. Call it "cyber intimacy" but yeah, the good old days were better.

But now, I cannot just post anything personal on my blog. For security reasons, I decided to cap my posts to purely socio-political-satirical posts. And I am against posting nonsense stuff. I take blogging and the responsibility attached to it seriously. Yeah, 19,500 ++ followers (as of writing) can do that to you.

Fame has a price. If you can call it fame.

But don't mention the word fame or famous to tumblr kids for they will surely abhor you.

I feel like a stranger on Tumblr and I am partly to blame.

Or should I blame my "serious and suplado image" on Tumblr? I have this gut feeling that people tend to avoid me because they feel that I am hard-to-reach and siplado because I post serious stuff.

Partly yes.

On the other hand, I am contented on where/ what I am right now. I may be a little jealous, envious, and bitter to these kids on Tumblr but it uplifts my spirit whenever someone posts a compliment on my inbox.

I am Juan Republic and this is me. I cannot just change myself because most of the kids are doing it. Right?

If you happen to read this one, let's talk. I am inviting you to know the real me.

Thank you to the very much to the few individuals who were brave enough to bear with me, to talk to me outside Tumblr, and who knew the real me (or the other sidfe of me).

Thank you Wordpress. I just have to let this out of my chest.

God bless us all. Padayon!

Valentine's Day 2011

This is how I spent my Valentine's Day this year.

Last Sunday, my students from the Catechism class gave me these - a heart-shaped unan ng duwende (what a term!) on a stick and a box of choco mallows (they're my favorites!).

These gifts may be simple and cheap compared to expensive gifts given during this capitalist holiday. Call it cliche but yes, it is still the thought that counts.



Yesterday, February 14, I went  to my parents' office at ERDB-DENR at Forestry, College, Laguna (inside the UPLB Campus) to watch the concert of the UPLB Choral Ensemble. I was with my Nanay so you can call it a date between the two of us.

The concert was one hell of a wicked performance! Perhaps, I should watch more of this kind and not just the regular gigs of my favorite bands and groups.



Last night was also Urbandub's performance here at the UPLB Feb Fair but I opted not to watch and took an early rest instead. Ang inaabangan ko naman talaga ay sina Ebe Dancel at ang Sugarfree sa Huwebes, February 17.

Hindi naman kailangang in a relationhip para mag-celebrate ng Valentine's day. ang mahalaga, tayo ay nagmamahal at nagpapahalaga sa ating kapuwa.

Happy hearts day sa inyong lahat! Padayon!

My Chinese New Year's Resolution Revisited

Noong isang taon, nagkataong pumatak ang Chinese New Year sa February 14, Valentine's Day, or single awareness day para sa akin. Single ako noon, ano ba naman ang bago? Kaya't imbes na magmukmok ako sa isang sulok, naisipan kong gumawa na lang ng Chinese New Year's Resolution.



At halos isang taon ang nakalipas, aking babalikan ang aking listahan. Titingnan ko kung may improvement ba sa buhay ko o wala. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa akin ngayong Year of the Metal Rabbit?

Halika, samahan mo akong magbalik-tanaw.

Disclaimer: Hindi ako Chinese. Sa pagkakaalam ko ay walang Chinese blood na nananalaytay sa dugo namin. Kung meron man, 2% or less lang. Singkit kasi ang mga kamag-anak ko sa Father's side. Siguro may ka-relasyong Intsik na Trader ang isa sa mga ninuno ko noong unang panahon bago pa man dumating ang mga Kastila. Itatanong ko pa sa grandparents ko. At dahil halos lahat na ng produkto sa merkado ngayon ay puro "Made in China", in a way, Chinese na din ako.

Bakit ako gumagawa ng resolutions ngayong Chinese New Year? Hindi kasi ako nakagawa noong January 1 dahil sa paniniwalang "New year resolutions are meant to be broken." Pero napag-isip-isip ko na maganda din naman na meron kang prinsipyong sinusunod sa buhay. Na merong goal. Sabi nga ni Stephen R. Covey, "Begin with an end in mind".

Isa pa, ang Chinese New year ay papatak ng February 14. Valentine's Day. Kaya imbes na mag-emo-emo-han ako dahil wala akong ka-date, gagawa na lang ako ng list ng goals to accomplish this year. Mas mabuti to, productive na, tipid pa sa gastos.

Sabi ng mga Feng Shui expert, hindi daw masyadong maganda ang Year of the Metal tiger para sa mga katulad kong ipinanganak sa year of the snake. At para ma-counter ang malas, dapat daw ay hardwork. May free will ang tao. Dapat daw gamitin. (Kaya hindi ako naniniwala sa mga Feng shui at Horoscope, palaging sinasabing nasa kamay pa din ng tao ang kapalaran. Of course! Kaya huwag na kayong mag-post ng guidelines dahil kami din naman ang masusunod sa huli. Maglolokohan lang tayo.)

Kaya heto na, ang Chinese New Year's resolution(s) ko, para next year ay sisihin ko ang sarili ko kapag hindi ko nagawa at hindi ibang tao ang pagbubuntunan ko ng galit sa mga ka-lechehan sa buhay.

Ang ganda ng ginawa kong intro last year ano? Puwedeng i-laminate at isabit sa dingding. Heto na, hindi na kita bibitinin, heto na ang mahaba kong listahan:

TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT. Anak ng syoktong! Sabi ng mga nagmamagaling na eksperto ay ito daw ang pinakamadalas na hindi natutupad na resolution. Tunay nga naman ang pagyayabang nila. Sino ba naman ang magpapagal na magpapayat gayong napakasarap kumain? Naniniwala kasi ako sa kasabihan ni Epicurus na "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you will die."  Kung mamatay man, mamatay ng maligaya. Pero umaangal na ang sistema ko. Ayoko pang mamatay. Bata pa ako.

Olats to. Isang taon ang nakalipas, heto at mas bumigat pa yata ako. Wala talaga akong disiplina sa sarili. Kailangan ko ng mabago ito. Pramis. Mamatay ka man.

FIND TIME TO EXERCISE. Natatandaan ko pa last 2008 noong tinamaan ako ng osteoarthritis (hindi ka maniwala ano?) dahil hindi na kaya ng mga joints ko ang bigat ng katawan ko. Kaya ang ginawa ko noon ay araw-araw na jogging at mag-pump sa fitness gym ng seminaryo. Muntik na akong maging hunk noon. Kaso napabayaan noong lumabas ng seminaryo. Kaya lumobo na ulit. Shet!

Isa pa itong olats. Isang beses lang ako nakapag-jogging noong isang taon. Oo. Isang beses lang. Pero mukhang magbabago na ito ngayon. Lumipat na kasi kami ng bahay. At mas madali ng mag-jogging doon sa bagong subdivision. Yeah ba!

AVOID FATTY AND GREASY FOODS. Oo nga't masarap ang sisig at chicharon sa pulutan pero kailangang bawas-bawasan ang intake. Baka balutan na ng taba ang puso ko at mabarahan ang mga ugat ko, mahirap na. At saka nakaka-blemish at pimples ang fats at grease. Kadiri. Baka hindi na matuloy ang pangarap kong maging matinee idol.

Olats ulit. Mahilig kasi ako sa ma-grasang pagkain. Ang arap kasi ng mga malangis, masebo, at matabang pagkain. Ugh. Mang Lapid at Mojacko chicharon, ipanalangin niyo ako.

LESSEN BEER INTAKE. Naniniwala ako na nagpapaganda ng sirkulasyon ng dugo sa katawan ang alkohol. And we must conserve water, so drink beer. Pero nakaka-bundat ang beer. Hassle naman na palagi na lang akong mukhang butete na may malaking man-boobs (na mas malaki pa sa ibang babaeng kakilala ko, kaya insecure sila sa akin). Bawasan ang pag-tungga ng beer. Kahit konti lang.

Medyo panalo naman 'to. Nitong nakaraang taon, bihiura lang talaga akong mag-beer. Mahal kasi ang beer. Pero mas napadami yata ang Tanduay Ice, gin bulag, lambanog, tuba, at GSM Blue. May urban legend na nakakapayat daw yung mga yun kaya't pinatos ko na din.

MAXIMIZE YOUR POTENTIAL AS A (FRUSTRATED) COOK. Ipinagyayabang ko na mahilig ako magluto at fan ako ng mga cooking shows nina Chefs Rosebud Benitez, Sandy Daza, at Niño Logarta. Asset sa lalaki ang masarap magluto. At kung hindi man ako makapag-asawa agad, kaya kong pakainin ang sarili ko. Kaya susubukan ko pang mag-experiment sa pagluluto. Mahal ang mag-aral sa Culinary School kaya sariling sikap muna. Saka na lang kapag naka-ipon.

Medyo olats din. Killer Adobo pa lang ang nama-master kong putahe. Medyo limited kasi ang supplies dito sa bahay kaya di ako masyadong makapag-eksperimento. Pero impernes, nakapagluto naman ako ng may pa-red wine-red wine na inilalagay. Achievement na yun. Susubukan ko ding mag-aral mag-bale ngayong taong ito.

FEED YOUR MIND. Oo nga't tapos ka na ako sa kolehiyo at tapos na ako sa lahat ng mga impyernong exams. But learning doesn't stop there. Sabi nga noong nakainuman ko sa bukid minsan, "A man who graduates today, and stops learning tomorrow, is uneducated, the day after." (Naka-save yan sa phone ko, May 6, 2008, 7:00:10 PM).

I see to it na araw-araw ay may bago akong natututunan. Medyo panalo ang item na to. Salamat na lang at merong internet. Araw-araw, may bago akong natututunan kahit wala na ako sa paaralan.

READ GREAT BOOKS. Tanda ko pa noong mga panahong nagbabasa ako ng mga novels, spiritual/inspirational books sa kalagitnaan ng pagre-review ko sa final exams ng mga major subjects. Ganoong ka-dedicated at ka-addict. Ugh! At tanda ko pa yung sabi sa akin noong Prayleng kalbo kong prefect of discipline noong high school, "The man who can write for an hour is a man who can read for six hours."

Nakapag-download nga ako ng maraming eBooks pero wala pa rin, hindi ko din masyadong nababasa dahil mabigat ang laptop (sabihin mo na kasing gusto mo ng tablet o kaya iPad). Pero sa kasalukuyan, binabasa ko ang matagal ng overdue sa aking libro na Sophie's World.

READ SUBSTANTIAL ARTICLES AND ESSAYS. Hindi katulad noong nag-aaral pa ako, wala na akong access sa mga daily broadsheets para magbasa ng mga substantial na obra ng mga kolumnista. Per andiyan naman ang internet. Ano pang silbi kung follower ako sa Facebook at Twitter nina Conrado de Quiros, Patricia Evangelista, Gang Badoy, at Manuel Quezon III?

Medyo panalo 'to. Naging tambay ako ng website ng Philippine Daily Inquirer at ng ilan sa mga tinitingala kong blogger sa Tumblr at sa iba pang blogging platforms. In one way or another, may natutunan naman ako sa kanila. :)

TRY TO WRITE MORE IN ENGLISH. Excuse daw ng mga manunulat (na katulad ko) ang pagsusulat sa Filipino at informal para hindi mapulaan ang pag-gamit ng Ingles. Kaya ko naman magsulat ng substantial at may sense sa parehong Wika. Ang problema lang, kapag sunod-sunod na ang isinulat ko sa iisang wika, nagiging dominante, nagiging mapurol ako sa isa. Kailangan kong isabuhay ang isa sa mga huling pangaral sa akin ng rektor ko noong Kolehiyo, "Kailangang maging balanse. Magsulat ka sa parehong wika. At dapat ay may constancy."

Panalo din ito. Hangga't maaari ay nagsusulat ako sa wikang Ingles sa aking blog para na rin sa akin at para sa mas malaking market. At kahit sablay minsan ang grammar, rhetoric, at spelling, puwede na rin. At least, natututo sa mga pagkakamali.

ACCEPT CRITICISMS AND NOT-SO-GOOD COMMENTS AND CORRECTIONS.Siguro ay nasanay lang ako na puro papuri at paghanga ang natatanggap ko sa mga blogs ko. Kaya it's an eye-opener na may isang matalinong mambabasa ang nagbigay ng kaniyang puna at mungkahi sa isa kong blog entry. Accept corrections wholeheartedly and with all humility. Walang taong perpekto. Alalahanin ang classic essay na "Of Being Ashamed of One's Past." Kagaya ng madalas kong itinuturo sa mga talks ko, sa pagkakamali tayo natututo at lumalago.

Panalo din ang isang ito. Maraming salamat sa mga nag-iiwan ng puna at mungkahi at nagtatama ng kung ano mang pagkakamali sa aking blog.

PREPARE. PREPARE. PREPARE. Hindi na ako yung dating ako na kahit hindi masyadong prepared ay ayos pa din ang ibinibigay na talks/seminars. Sabi nga ng mga comrades ko dati, "Espiritu Santo na ang bahalang gumalaw." Sin of presumption yun. Sabihin na nating maganda nga ang ibinibigay kahit hindi nakapaghanda, pero hamak na mas maganda kung talagang pinaghandaan.

Hindi ako masayadong nakapagbigay ng mga talks at retreats ngayon kaya't hindi ko masasabing nakakapaghanda ako ng maayos. Ay oo nga pala, may isang pagkakataon sa tinuturuan kong Sunday School na na-blangko ako sa mga bata dahil hindi ko alam ang tagalog ng bawat isa sa 10 commandments. Wasak hindi ba? Nakakahiya.

BE INNOVATIVE AND NEVER BE STAGNANT WITH IDEAS. Naaalala ko iyong kasabihang "Do not trust a man of one book." Minsan kasi, nagiging paulit-ulit na ang sinasabi ko. Napakadaming mga bagay sa ilalim ng cosmos para maging stagnant at redundant. Magbasa. Mag-prepare. Mag-consult. Walang masama doon.

Natututo na ako ngayon na mas kumunsulta sa mas maraming sources, magtanong sa ibang tao, at baliin ang utak ko sa pag-iisip ng ibang ideas - katulad ng ginagawa ko noong kolehiyo.

LESSEN MY BEING "SUPLADO." Madaming nagsasabing "suplado incarnated" ako. Poker face kasi ako lalo na sa mga pampublikong lugar. Diretso lang ang tingin. Kaya may mga kakilala akong nakakasalubong na hindi ko napapansin. Hayun. Nababansagang suplado at mayabang. Hindi naman sa ganun. Mahiyain lang talaga ako minsan (wink!).

Mukhang matatagalan pa bago ko mabago ang ugali kong ito. Kailangan ko ng isang self-esteem boost (dahil sa tingin ko ay doon nagsisimula ang lahat).

SMILE MORE OFTEN. Kahit hindi alligned at medyo sungki ang ngipin ko, ngiti pa din. Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam ng iba ang pag-ngiti. Proven ko na na kahit medyo masungit ang isang tao, kahit isang istranghero, napapabago ng sinserong ngiti. Hayaan niyo, kapag nakaipon, magpapa-alambre na ako ng ngipin para maging perfect smile na pang-toothpaste commercial.

Magpapa-alambre na dapat ako last December. Pero dahil sa series of unfortunate events dito sa bahay, dumami ang gastusin, naisantabi ang alambre. Pero proud pa din akong sabihin na mas madalas na akong bgumiti ngayon. :)

CONTROL MY TEMPER. May mga pagkakataong boy badtrip talaga ako. At nakakasakit ng kapwa kung hindi man physicaly ay verbaly at emotionaly. Kagaya nga ng madalas kong payo sa mga kaibigan ko, "chillax lang", sana mai-apply ko din sa sarili ko.

Isa pang olats to. Boy badtrip pa din ako ngayon. Madaling akong ma-provoke para magalit. Mainit lagi ang ulo. Kailangan ko na siguro ng professional help.

BE A GOOD EXAMPLE. Sa kadahilanang walong (8) taon nga ako sa seminaryo, hindi naman sa pagmamayabang, ay madami pa ding mga tao ang buo ang respeto at humahanga sa akin. Kaya napakalaking iskandalo kung maging masamang ehemplo ako. Na ako pa ang mangunguna sa mga katarantaduhan (na inaamin ko, madalas kong ginagawa). Dapat nga ay ako pa ang mag-initiate na gumawa ng mabuting bagay. (Amen?)

The past year has been bad for me. Or shall I say, ginawa ko itong masama para sa akin at sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. Madami akong dapat ihingi ng paumanhin at mga relasyong kailangang ayusin. Sana lang ay may lakas ako ng loob.

EXPAND SOCIAL HORIZON. Ang dalawang taon kong pahinga ay nakalaan para malaman ko talaga kung para ako sa pagiging Pari o hindi. Mahaba ang dalawang taon. Madami akong maging mga bagong kaibigan na makakatulong sa akin sa aking discernment. Kaya hindi muna ako nag-ge-gelprend. Baka kasi maging exclusive ako.

Medyo lumawak naman nitong nagdaang taon. Salamat na rin sa mga taong nakilala ko sa Tumblr (akalain mo yun?!) na mga naging kaibigan ko sa labas ng computer. Maraming salamat sa eLBikada! :)

ENGAGE IN MORE EXPERIENCE-ENRICHING ACTIVITIES. Sabihin na nating medyo "hampered" ako sa loob ng seminaryo. Limited at structured kasi ang mga activities doon. So ito ang pagkakataon para i-try ko ang mga bagay na di ko pa nasusubukan at matagal ko ng gustong subukan. Photography, Scuba diving, mountain climbing, magpahabol sa askal na may rabies, makipagkuwentuhan sa mga taong grasa, etc. Naniniwala ako sa prinsipyong "Gawin mo ang mga bagay habang may pagkakataon. Madami ang namamatay ng hindi yan nasusubukan."

Due to budget constraints, hindi ko nagawa ang mga gusto kong gawin last year. Pero sana, bago matapos ang taong ito, ay magawa ko na. Sana. Sana po.

TRY TO STOP SECRET MEETINGS WITH SATAN. May mga bagay sa buhay natin na sarili lang natin ang nakakaalam, ang Diyos, at si Satan. Ito yung mga "lihim na kasalanan." Naalala ko noong nag-take ako ng "Impyerno Test" ni Dante Alghieri na application sa internet. Sa 8th level ako ng impyerno bumagsak. Kung pamilyar ka sa mga level ng impyerno ni Dante, alam mo na ang tinutukoy ko. Ayokong kapag namatay ako ng di oras ay maging instant border  ni Satan. Mainit dun.

Isa pang olats. Kung mamamatay siguro ako sa mga sandaling ito, alam kong sa impyerno na ang bagsak ko. Isa pa itong kailngan ng professional help.

APPROACH THE SACRAMENT OF CONFESSION MORE OFTEN. Mag-iisang taon na simula noong huli akong nangumpisal. Kung noong huling walong taon ng buhay ko ay buwan-buwan ako mangumpisal (o kapag may instant mortal sin), dapat ay ipagpatuloy ko pa rin iyon hanggang ngayon.

Tuwing may Kumpisalang Bayan sa Parokya, nagpupunta ako at nangungumpisal. Pero twice a year lang yun. Susubukan kong mangumpisal ng mas madalas. Active naman ang confession box sa simbahan.

NEVER FORGET MY SPIRITUALITY. Madasalin at araw-araw akong nagsisimba - dati. Simula nang magpahinga ako, bihira na. Kaya I feel weak. I feel empty. Kailangan kong mag-recharge at mag-reconnect sa Diyos. Dapat kong tandaan na walong taon ako sa pangangalaga ng mga prayle.

Proud akong sabihin na madalas na akong magdasal ngayon at gabi-gabi kaming pamilya kung magdasal ng Banal na Rosaryo. :)

TO RESSURECT MY SPIRITUAL JOURNAL. Ang sipag ko dating magsulat sa aking spiritual journal. Halos walang mintis bawat araw. Kaya ang lalalim ng mga reflections ko noon. Isa nga ako sa mga inaabangan para mag-"mini sermon" noon. Puwede ng pang-Santo. Pero Anong nangyari? Ayun! Napatigil. Inamag ang notebook. At para akong back to zero.

Hindi ko nabuhay muli ang aking spiritual journal. Mas nag-focus kasi ako sa blog ko. Yung dating philosophical at religious post, napalitan na ng socio-political. Siguro ay paraan ito para matulungan akong makapagdesisyon kung para saan talaga ako.

VALUE OLD FRIENDSHIPS. Sabi nga noong isang kasabihan, "People come and go, but true friends remain." Hindi kaila na madami na ding taong nagdaan sa buhay ko. Yung iba dumaan lang. Yung iba nag-iwan ng marka. At yung iba, ayun, nanggamit lang. Pero merong mga tunay na kaibigan na palaging andiyan. Value them. They are more precious than gold.

RECONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO MATTERED. Sa scrapbook/life album ko sa psychology noong second year college, nakalista ang mga taong naging malaking impluwensya kung sino at ako ngayon. Mga guro, superiors, pari, madre, at mga ikalawa kong magulang. Habang hindi pa ako masyadong matanda at bago nila ako tuluyang makalimutan, susubukan kong bumalik sa kanila para magpasalamat.

Naimbitahan ako ng dati kong guro na bisitahin siya sa dati kong paaralan. Pero hindi pa din ako nakakapunta. Sabi ko ay wala akong time. Pero wala talaga akong pera. Ah alam ko na! Maghahanap muna ako ng bagong trabaho para magkapera. Ugh.

Seriously, tinatamad talaga akong pumunta. O dahil sa pride na din. Dahil wala pa akong masyadong "nararating" kumpara sa mga comrades ko. Malaki pa naman ang inaasahan nila sa akin noon pero ngayon, wala. Olats. Ugh.

TRY TO HEAL MYSELF FROM PREACHER'S DISEASE. Madami akong sinasabing magagandang bagay sa iba. Madami akong ibinibigay na magagandang advice sa mga humihingi. Pero wasak! Hindi ko isinasabuhay. Yun ang preacher's disease. Yung "not practicing what one preaches." Sayang naman. Nakikinabang ang iba pero ang sarili ko ay hindi.

Hindi ako masyadong nakapag-preach nitong taon kaya hindi ko masasabi kung may improvement ba dito o wala. Pero kung ituturing na ang blogging ay form of preaching, masasabi kong madami pa akong dapat ayusin sa sarili ko.

FIND A (BETTER) JOB NOT FOR THE SAKE OF MONEY BUT FOR THE LESSONS AND EXPERIENCE. Ganto ang prinsipyo ko: "Kung magta-trabaho din lang naman ako, gusto ko ay gusto ko ang ginagawa ko. Hindi dahil sa malaki ang suweldo kahit ayoko ng ginagawa ko." Kaya gusto ko iyong trabaho na nakikisalamuha sa ibang tao at hindi nakasalpak sa harap ng computer, with a fake American accent. Mas gusto ko ang field work at pagtuturo sa mga estudyante. Care to give me one? (PM mo lang ako)

Nagkaroon naman ako ng trabaho sa publishing company. Pero sinayang ko ang magandang opportunity na yun. Ipinapangako ko sa sarili ko na sa susunod na trabaho, wala na akong aaksayahin.

BE A BETTER SON. I am proud to say na hindi ako prodigal son. Hindi ako naninigarilyo. Hindi ako nagwawaldas ng kayamanan ng mga magulang ko. Pero minsan, nasasagot ko ang mga magulang ko. At alam ko ang pakiramdam sa kanila noon. Kaya dapat ay maging better ako. Alam kong proud sila sa akin. Ikaw na ang magkaroon ng (mga) anak na magpapari (wink! wink!). Dalawa kami ng kapatid kong nasa seminaryo. Dalawa lang kaming lalake at isang babae. So walang magkakalat ng apelyido ng tatay ko kapag nagkataon.

Paano nga ba maging isang mabuting anak? Ano nga ba ang qualifications? Tumutulong sa mga gastusin? Nagbabahagi ng suweldo? O sapat na ang maging mapagmahal na anak sa magulang?

May mga pagkakataon mang lagi kong sinisigawan at inaaway ang mga magulang ko, pipilitin ko pa ring maging idang mabuti at mapagmahal na anak sa kanila.

At hindi na masyadong magiging pabigat.

REMEMBER: LIFE IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE BEAUTIFUL. Kahit ano mang ka-lechehan ang nangyayari sa buhay, life is still beautiful. Be optimistic. Live with that principle. At for sure, makakatagpo ako ng security at "inner happiness."

Padayon! - Iyan ang mantra ko sa buhay. Passive pessimistic lang ako (meganung word?) pero proud pa din akong sabihin na optimistic pa din ako. Padayon!

DON'T FORGET TO LIVE BY MY PRINCIPLES. Sasabihin ng mga pragmatist na, "Aanhin mo ang prinsipyo? Makakain mo ba yan?" Maaaring tama sila na hindi nga naman tangible ang mga prinsipyo, pero ang pagkakaroon ng mindset at philosophy na isinasabuhay ang magiging sandigan at basehan sa pag-gawa ng desisyon para sa survival at pag-acquire ng mga tangible at useful things na ipinagmamalaki ng mga Pragmatists at Utilitarians. Gets niyo?

Proud pa din akong sabihin na panalo itong isang ito noong nagdaang taon. Dumami man ang aking natutunan, na-expose man ako sa ibang mga kaisipan, hindi pa rin nagbabago ang mga prinsipyo kong natutunan sa loob ng seminaryo,

MAKE A DIFFERENCE. It may sound too Mother Theresa or Rizal-ish pero wala namang masamang mangarap ng malaki. Pero nangangagat ang katotohanan. Masyadong malaki ang ginawa nila. Pero hindi naman kinakailangang gumawa ng malaki para magkaroon ng "difference." Sa simpleng mga bagay lang at sa usual na routine natin sa araw-araw, puwede na tayong gumawa ng difference. Iyong simpleng makatulong at "maka-impluwensya" ka sa iba tungo sa kabutihan, malaking bagay na iyon. Naniniwala kasi ako sa prinsipyong "Fruitful at meaningful ang buhay ng isang tao kung minsan sa buhay niya ay naka-impluwensya siya tungo sa kabutihan ng kaniyang kapwa." Kahit sa simpleng pag-post ng mga blog na nakaantig sa iba, malaking bagay na.

Sa palagay ko naman, makalipas ang isang taon at mahigit labinlimang libong followers sa Tumblr, nakagawa ako ng difference kahit sa aking munting paraan. Naging "bayani" ako noong halalan. At kahit isa o dalawa siguro ay may naantig sa aking blog entry. :)

Sa bandang huli, maganda rin na meron tayong goal na tinutumbok sa buhay. Others may consider this as a waste of time and effort. Pero sa aking opinyon, mas malaking pag-aaksaya ng oras at affort ang nabubuhay ng walang patutunguhan. Ang nabubuhay ng para sa wala.

Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga lucky charms ng mga kaibigan nating Intsik. Sa aking opinyon, gimik lang nila iyon para magka-negosyo. Madami namang nagpapauto. Tayo pa din ang guguhit ng ating kapalaran.

Tayo ay mga tao. Endowed with free will and intellect. Matalino tayong mga nilalang. Tayo ang nagmamani-obra sa buhay natin. Hindi ang iba. Hindi ang mga bituin. Hindi ang cosmos. Hindi ang mga elemento. Hindi ang Feng Shui.

Hindi ako Intsik. Pero nakikiisa ako sa kanila sa pagdiriwang ng Chinese New Year.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Madami mang naging sablay sa aking resolutions noong isang taon, masasabi kong proud pa din ako dahil at least, meron pa ring patutunguhan ang buhay ko. Na meron akong plano. Na merong itineraries sa aking paglalakbay.

Ano nga ba ang meron para sa akin ngayong Year of the Metal Rabbit? Sabi ng mga borlogs na Feng Shui expert, masuwerte daw ang mga katulad kong ipinanganak ng Year of the Snake. Pero katulad ng nabanggit ko sa itaas, tayo ang gumagawa ng sarili nating kapalaran.

Ano na ang resolutions ko ngayong taon? Simple lang. Isa lang.

Ang tuparin lahat ng nakasulat sa itaas.

Maligayang bagong taon sa ating lahat! Kung Hei Fat Choi! Padayon!

Finding My Way Back Home

24 January 2011

Bisperas kahapon ng Kapistahan ng Patron ng Seminaryo namin, si San Francisco de Sales, Patron Saing of Writers and Journalists. Sumama ako sa mga Magulang ko sa Seminaryo sa Marawoy, Lipa City para dalawain ang kapatid ko at para na rin bumisita sa lugar na itinuring kong tahanan sa loob ng walong (8) taon.

Nakakatuwang isipin na parang nagbalik sa akin ang mga ala-ala ng masasaya, malungkot, nakakatuwa, nakakaaiyak na samahan naming mga seminarista at ang buhay seminaryo. Habang tinitingnan ko ang bawat sulok, ang bawat kuwarto, ang bawat lugar, nagbabalik ang ilang mga pangyayari sa aking buhay na kailanman ay hindi ko makakalimutan at babaunin hanggang sa aking pagtanda.

Nakita ko din ang mga dati kong kasamahan (pero mas madami na ngayon ang mga seminaristang hindi ko na kakilala. Tumatanda na ako at madami na ang bago), nagkaroon ng maikling kuwentuhan, tawanan, at pagbibigay ng payo sa mga graduating na Seminarista ("basta't huwag niyo ng gagawin ang mga kamalian ko na ginawa ko"). Nakasalubong ko din ang mga superior/ formator kong mga Prayle (na masama yata ang tingin sa akin dahil naka-shorts ako kanina. Naka-pantalon kasi dapat ang mga seminarista.)

Nakasalubong ko yung Rector ko na hanga pa (din) daw sa mga isinusulat ko sa aking blog. Ang rector ko na itinuturing kong ninong, tatay, kaibigan. Ang nagtuwid sa baliko kong pananaw at buhay. Ang isa sa mga huling tao na nagtiwala at naniwala pa din sa akin sa kabila ng aking personalidad, mga nagawa, at idealismong salungat sa itinuturung ng marami na tama at angkop.

Pagkatapos ay nanood ako ng palaro ng mga Seminarista. Kasama ang lahat ng mga departamento - mula High School hanggang Theology. Nakakatuwang panoorin na halos walang pinagbago ang saya, tawanan, at balyahan ng mga seminarista sa loob ng basketball court. Nakaka-miss ang ganoong mga pangyayari.

Sa gitna ng aking pagmumuni-muni, tinanong ako ng Nanay ko:

"Na-mi-miss mo na ba ang buhay Seminaryo?, seryoso niyang tanong.

"Hindi! Ang sarap ng buhay ko ngayon eh..", ang sinungaling kong sagot. Sabay ngiti at tumalikod sa Nanay ko.

Nagsisinungaling ako kung sabihin kong hindi ko nami-miss ang buhay seminaryo. Masarap ang buhay sa loob kahit na madami ang hindi nakakaintindi kung paani kaming tumatagal sa ganoong buhay. Walang cellphone, nakakulong, walang babae, at kung anu-ano pang "wala" na meron sa labas ng seminaryo.

Pero kailangan kong mamili. Kailangang timbangin ang mga bagay-bagay. Sa ngayon, ayokong bumalik sa seminaryo ng " hinog sa pilit". Ayokong ma-kompromiso ang aking bokasyon, kasama na ang mga taong aking paglilingkuran, kung pipilitin ko ang sarili ko na mag-pari. May bagay na angkop lamang sa tamang panahon. At sa aking pananaw, hindi pa ngayon ang tamang panahon para doon.

Kaya kahit due ako na bumalik ngayong June 2011, hindi muna ako babalik.

Madami pa akong dapat ayusin sa aking sarili at sa aking buhay dito sa labas ng seminaryo. Mga bagay na hindi maaaring ipilit, mga bagay na hindi maaaring madaliin.

Pero kung sakali mang bumalik ako, alam kong meron pa rin akong babalikan. Dahil sabi nga ni Naruto kay Saske, ang tahanan na iyong babalikan ay iyong lugar kung saan may nagmamahal sa iyo.

Kapistahan ngayon ng Patron natin. Maligayang Pista mga Anakiko! Maligayang kapistahan San Francisco de Sales. Padayon!

Anakiko ang tawag sa mga seminarista ng aming seminaryo. Anakiko - o "Mga Anak ni Kiko" - bilang mga seminarista sa ilalim ng gabay ni San Francisco de Sales.

Guess who's wearing my The Heads Set T-shirt?

Last September, I got my first paycheck from the Publishing Company where I work as an editor. And since I learned about the Eraserheads: The Head Set last March (when rumors began to spread like wildfire on the internet), I made a vow to myself to allot a portion of my paycheck for the box set - no matter how expensive it would cost me.

The Box Set was released on September 9 - and I still haven't received my paycheck. I was in panic. Since the set is limited, I feared that I will not be able to buy myself a copy. I also feared that the box set will not be available here in the Southern Luzon area (you know, some music materials are just too Metro Manila-centered).

I received my paycheck by mid-September and the first thing that I did was to go to the nearest (and only) Greenwich here in Los Baños. I asked the crew if they have the Heads Set. And the rest was months of nostalgia, rockin' with the Eraserheads.

As most of you who have the Heads Set, the box includes a coffee table book/ lyric sheet/ photo album (I don't know how to exactly call it), complete albums, EPs, and a DVD, and the Heads Set Shirt.

Now, the Heads Shirt came in free-size-one-size-fits-all-that's-a-fuckin'-fashion-discrimination!  And if you who know me personally, you know that that shirt will not fit me - and I rarely wear body fits (bakat ang man-boobs pare!). So I decided to just hang it in my room for art's sake, for bragging, and for future self-centered consumption (I just love to use that word).

Months went by and the shirt still hangs in my room. One day, my Nanay entered the room and asked me: "Aanhin mo yan kung hindi mo isusuot? Sayang lang ang Pho 2, 500 mo."

Jokingly, I replied "Kapag pumayat ako, maisusuot ko na yan".

"Ipahiram mo na lang muna sa akin. Ako ang magsusuot.", she replied.

At first, I was taken aback. My Nanay will wear an Eraserheads shirt? Is she trying to be bagets or what? I can accept it if my father wears this shirt (because he is jeprox and young at heart) but my conservative Nanay? She got to be kidding.

I asked her, "Seryoso kayo?".

"Oo nga!", she replied.

And she removed the shirt from the hanger, went to the other room, and wore my shirt. And it fits her perfectly. Panalo!

This is the modern world where being fit and sexy is in and being fat with man-boobs is a big no. It's just so unfair for us fatties. Come on self-proclaimed fashion experts! There are more of us who are not sexy, fit, and macho. the world is full of non-sexy and non-fit individuals. You should consider us whenever you make these shirts.

Okay, enough of the ranting. Alam ko namang olats ako diyan at kailangan ko na talagang magpapayat. Hindi na din kasi healthy.

I have cool parents. It's good to see them having the same trip and vibes as ours. They borrow and listen to my CDs. They watch the same TV series as mine. And they both love the Eraserheads.

Nanay, you can wear that shirt forever if you want to. It's all yours. I can buy you more Eraserheads shirt if you want to. Keep your cool. I love you po! :')

Happy 22nd Anniversary Nanay and Tatay

Today marks the 22nd wedding anniversary of my parents. 22 years of being a husband and wife, 22 years of being good parents, 22 years of ups and downs, 22 years of blessings and misfortunes, and 22 years of being together.

You have gone a long way in your marriage. You have been a good example to us, your sons and daughter. You have thought us to be God-fearing individuals and to be just to our neighbor. You are our idols.

In three years, you will be celebrating your Silver Anniversary. But let’s aim for fifty years just like Lolo and Lola. And when that day comes, I want both of you to sing Adam Sandler’s Grow Old With You.

I love you Nanay and Tatay from the bottom of my heart and from the wholeness of my substantial, corporeal, living, and rational soul. Nuks!

Photo taken at Kamay ni Hesus Healing Center, Lucban Quezon. I asked them to pose on ‘The Temptation’ statue of Adam and Eve for art’s sake - and for them to be reminded that whatever temptations may come along the way, they should still be together as one.