Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Letter that Changed My Life


I have already shared this letter before but allow me to do it again for today’s occasion. I was a rejected writer way back in High School. My articles were literally crumpled and then thrown into the trash bin (I saw my teacher did that heart-breaking scenario inside the faculty room). My superior said that my articles were “not good” and “unreadable.”
I think most of us knew the feeling of failing and being rejected. I thought of myself as a failure. A total failure and an embarrassment. I almost gave up. I lost faith in my own skills.
But as in all tragedy, there is a hero, a redeemer, an inspiration. And I saw that person in my father. He wrote this open letter when I was in second year High School and have it posted on the Francois Corner - a bulletin board/literary board in the seminary for the written works of the seminarians (talk about “pambabraso”, I think that term is more appropriate).
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This letter changed my life. Since then, I have been writing articles after articles, stories after stories, essays after essays, taking into consideration his messages and advice written on this letter. This letter became a major turning point of my life. The Juan of today will never be the same had he not written this letter.
November 27, 2002
Sorry son, I beat you on the draw this time. Time and again I have always urged you to write something for the Francois Corner. I want you to express yourself, your views of life, of family, of human relations, of growing up, and whatever heaven-may-care concerns you think worthwhile. Write them as they are gestated on your mind. Don’t wait until you may only have to recall the precious moments, when life is already filled with misgivings for the things you’ve done and those you chose not to do, when you may already have to contend with the biases of your own reasoning, whan all things have their good excuses and alibis…the very way I do now.
You have read better books than I did and your vocabulary has improved considerably in your almost two years in the seminary. Nevermind if I tell you that the words as you define them have awkward meanings. As you go along life’s path, you’ll realize the words and gestures alike are interpreted in appropriate contexts, not just they are portrayed in the dictionary. The best poetry of literary piece is something that depicts noble intentions, of truth, of justice, of virtues, of writer’s characters. Avoid flashy and ostentatious adjectives, grandiose adverbs, and dangling modifiers..they often end up in lies.
You are so lucky son. you have found freedom within the confines of the walls of the seminary and I want you to write of this. Freedom is not just doing what you want. It is also getting rid of the things that would otherwise prevent you from doing what you want. Most of us outside are virtual prisoners of our own means, of both obsession and indifference, of curiosity and apathy. Put no envy or remorse for being sheltered from the world, just have it that many would have wanted to be in your place. Talk to your brother seminarians, your formators, and every people you meet and you may learn the reason. Whatever reason it is, take it with humility and reticence. Read a lot, keenly observe things and improve your sense of disrection. Seek wisdom in prayers and let faith be the pillar of judgement.
Write, son, write. Hearten others with the might of your pen. When I held your hand when I first thought you how to write, I had no further intent for you but to learn to inscribe your name. After a few summers, reams and reams of paper, and buckets of ink, I urge you to make a turn around.  Let not your name be prominent but God’s. In your own modest way, lead your readers to Him. Let those words be your hook and line as you brace yourself to be a fisher of men. With God’s grace and a few summers more, (And this, me and your mother pray for) you may already have been an adept articulator of his words. I hope that by then, you will remember this day that I encouraged you to write.
I hope that you will not fail me son. I expect to see your paper tucked in the corks of Francois Corner. We love you.
It has been almost a decade since my father wrote this letter but from time to time, I still look at it for inspiration, guidance, and something to look up to. I see this as an oasis of an honest words of advice from the man whom I consider a hero, a model, an idol.
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It has been ten years since he wrote this letter. Times and circumstances have changed.He may have not written a follow-up for this letter but from time to time, he talks to me, man to man, about life’s little tricks and lessons. Since we are open to each other, I think a letter is no longer necessary to give his message to me. But who knows? Maybe when the circumstances need it, he would give me a better and more dramatic father-to-son letter.
I know that I still have a lot to do in order to reach my dream to write and to inspire pople. But I am proud to say that I have taken the few little steps to reach that journey. Thank you to all who read my posts here in my little blog.
I have learned from my Psychology and Human Development classes that a good image of a father is vital to a child’s (especially a son’s) development. I thank my  Tatay Juan for being a good model, a friend, and a drinking buddy. And thank you for being my inspiration, for being my Maestro. I will always be grateful. I love you.
Happy Father’s Day po Tatay. Inuman tayo mamaya. Padayon!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Letter that Changed My Life

I was a rejected writer way back in High School. My articles were literally crumpled and then thrown into the trash bin (I saw my teacher did that heart-breaking scenario inside the faculty room). My superior said that my articles were “not good” and “unreadable.”

I was a failure. A total failure and an embarrassment.

And then my Father wrote this “open letter” when I was in second year High School and have it posted on the Francois Corner - a bulletin board/literary board in the seminary for the written works of the seminarians (talk about "pambabraso". Wink!).

This letter changed my life. Since then, I have been writing articles after articles, taking into consideration his messages and advice written on this letter. This letter became a major turning point of my life. The Juan of today will never be the same had he not written this letter. Thank you Tatay. I will be forever grateful. I love you.



November 27, 2002

Sorry son, I beat you on the draw this time. Time and again I have always urged you to write something for the Francois Corner. I want you to express yourself, your views of life, of family, of human relations, of growing up, and whatever heaven-may-care concerns you think worthwhile. Write them as they are gestated on your mind. Don’t wait until you may only have to recall the precious moments, when life is already filled with misgivings for the things you’ve done and those you chose not to do, when you may already have to contend with the biases of your own reasoning, whan all things have their good excuses and alibis…the very way I do now.

You have read better books than I did and your vocabulary has improved considerably in your almost two years in the seminary. Nevermind if I tell you that the words as you define them have awkward meanings. As you go along life’s path, you’ll realize the words and gestures alike are interpreted in appropriate contexts, not just they are portrayed in the dictionary. The best poetry of literary piece is something that depicts noble intentions, of truth, of justice, of virtues, of writer’s characters. Avoid flashy and ostentatious adjectives, grandiose adverbs, and dangling modifiers..they often end up in lies.

You are so lucky son. you have found freedom within the confines of the walls of the seminary and I want you to write of this. Freedom is not just doing what you want. It is also getting rid of the things that would otherwise prevent you from doing what you want. Most of us outside are virtual prisoners of our own means, of both obsession and indifference, of curiosity and apathy. Put no envy or remorse for being sheltered from the world, just have it that many would have wanted to be in your place. Talk to your brother seminarians, your formators, and every people you meet and you may learn the reason. Whatever reason it is, take it with humility and reticence. Read a lot, keenly observe things and improve your sense of disrection. Seek wisdom in prayers and let faith be the pillar of judgement.

Write, son, write. Hearten others with the might of your pen. When I held your hand when I first thought you how to write, I had no further intent for you but to learn to inscribe your name. After a few summers, reams and reams of paper, and buckets of ink, I urge you to make a turn around.  Let not your name be prominent but God’s. In your own modest way, lead your readers to Him. Let those words be your hook and line as you brace yourself to be a fisher of men. With God’s grace and a few summers more, (And this, me and your mother pray for) you may already have been an adept articulator of his words. I hope that by then, you will remember this day that I encouraged you to write.

I hope that you will not fail me son. I expect to see your paper tucked in the corks of Francois Corner. We love you.

I know that I still have a lot to do in order to reach my dream to write and to inspire pople. But I am proud to say that I have taken the few little steps to reach that journey. Thank you to all who read my posts here in my little blog.

And thank you to my Tatay Juan who inspired me, who acted as my Maestro.

Happy Father's Day po Tatay. Inuman tayo mamaya. Padayon!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Ang Paghanga ko kay Eros Atalia (na Mas Pinainit pa ni Mercedes Cabral)



Nagkakilala kami ni Eros Atalia noong nasa Kolehiyo ako. Yung roommate ko, bumili ng libro na may guwapong manong sa cover. Tapos, tawa na siya ng tawang mag-isa kahit dis-oras na ng gabi at nag-aaral ako ng mga kalokohan nina Nietzsche at Marx. Dahil senior ako sa kanya, wala siyang nagawa kundi ipahiram sa akin ang libro.

Ang pamagat ng libro, Peksman (Mamatay Ka Man) Nagsisinungaling Ako (At iba pang mga Kuwentong Hindi Dapat Paniwalaan).

Tapos sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko, “Sa wakas! May bago na naman akong susubaybayang manunulat. Hindi pa pa-misteryoso at hindi nagtatago ng mukha katulad noong idol ng mga kids”. Bob Ong yata ang pangalan noon. (At para sa kabatiran ng lahat, mas nauna kong minahal sina Nick Joaquin, Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo at Lualhati Bautista kumapara kay Bob Ong. Hindi mo sila kilala? Weh? Magaling yung mga yun.)

Lumipas ang mga buwan, nagtapos ako sa Kolehiyo. Binalak ko noong seryosohin ang pagsusulat. Pero mahirap na karera iyon. Kaya humingi ako ng tulong kay Eros Atalia. Nag-email ako sa kanya ng mga sample kong blog posts. Sinabi kong isa siya sa mga inspirasyon ko. Mabait naman siya at nag-reply. Titingnan daw niya kung magagamit niya ang mga isinulat ko sa klase niya sa UST.

Hindi ko na alam kung nagamit nga ni Sir Eros ang mga materyales ko. Pero katulad ng sinabi niya sa aking payo, hanggang ngayon ay patuloy pa din akong nagusulat, nangangarap, nag-aasam na isang araw ang mga gawa ko’y mailathala’t maging aklat. At friends pa din kami ni Sir Eros hanggang ngayon.

Sa Facebook.

Isang araw, habang nagliliwaliw ako sa Friends for Sale sa Facebook, nakita kong nagpalit ng profile picture si Sir Eros. At yun yung pangatlo niyang libro na Ligo na U. Lapit na Me.

Dali-dali akong pumunta noon sa pinakamalapit na National Book Store para bumili ng kanyang obra. At muli, hindi na naman nasayang ang pera at panahon ko kay Sir Eros. Hindi niya binigo ang aking expectations katulad ng pagkabigo sa akin ni Kapitan Sino.

Kahit medyo hindi pambata ang laman ng ikatlo niyang libro, suwak pa din sa aking panlasa. Ibang magkuwento si Sir Eros. Tila katabi ko lang sina Intoy at Jenn habang sila’y nagmo-MOMOX. Tila kasama ko sila sa kuwarto ng motel. At tila kasama kong sumuka sa loob ng bus si Intoy. Ay oo nga pala, sumuka din ako dati pero sa loob ng jeep na biyaheng UPLB.

Hindi ko lang alam kung natatandaan pa ako ng mga kasabay ko noon. At kung may nasukahan ako. Pilit ko pa rin iyong ibinabaon sa limot.

Lumipas ang mga panahon, medyo madami na din ang naisulat ko, dumami ang mga tagasubaybay ng blog, may iilang mga masugid na nagbabasa (mga less than 40), at patuloy pa ding nangangarap.

Tapos isang araw, nakita ko sa cellphone ng kapatid ko ang isang poster ng pelikula na ginawa niyang wallpaper. Muntik na akong mapa-somersault sa tuwa (Ay de leche! Hindi pala ako marunong noon). Yung paborito kong libro ni Eros, gagawing pelikula na kasama sa Cinemalaya.

Tapos ang gaganap pang Jenn, yung bago kong crush. Hindi si Julia Montes. Hindi pa siya puwede para sa role na ‘to. Si Mercedes Cabral. Ang sinasabing reyna ng Philippine Indie Films. Siya daw ang Babaeng Coco Martin. Langya sa title!

Tapos kasama pa sina Mel Kimura, Simon Ibarra (Astig! Noli Me Tangere-inspired ang pangalan), Shalala, Beverly Salviejo, Joseph Bitangcol at marami pang iba.

Excited na akong panoorin ‘to. Kaso, ang Cinemalaya, nasa Metro. Kaya good luck na lang sa akin sa pag-iskor ng tiket, pagnakaw ng libreng oras, at diskarte sa pamasahe at biyahe para mapanood ito.

Kung hindi man, sana ay maglabas ng DVD. Yung orig ang bibilhin ko. Pramis. Nagbagong buhay na ako. Hindi ko ito-torrent ‘to.

Maglalabas na ng pelikula base sa libro ni Eros Atalia, pero yung una niyang librong Taguan Pung, hindi ko pa rin mahagilap. Nagpunta na ako noon ng UST pero bigo akong maka-iskor ng kopya. Ikaw? Alam mo ba kung saan ako makakabili noon?

At para sa kabatiran ng lahat, hindi ko naman isinusumpa si Bob Ong. Mahabang panahon din ang pinagsamahan namin. Sa katunayan nga, naging manunulat at direktor ako noong isinadula namin sa entablado ang libro niyangMcArthur. Ang punto ko lamang, mga kids, hindi lang siya ang Pilipinong may panulat. Maghalungkat kayo sa mga aklatan at bookstore para sa ilan pa nating mga kababayang may bayag sa pagsulat.

At inaanyayahan ko kayong manood mamayang gabi ng Brigada sa GMA News TV channel 11, ika-8 ng gabi. Meron silang feature para sa mga Pinoy na manunulat. Kasama sina Eros at Bob.

Masuwerte ang mga (naging) estudyante ni Sir Eros sa UST dahil meron silangfirst-hand experience sa taong hinahangaan ko. Pero para sa akin, sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga libro, para na ring naging estudyante niya ako.

At yun naman ang technique para magtagumpay sa buhay - ang maging estudyante, ang maging tagahanga, ang maging tagasunod at hindi ang pagsasabing “ganap at kumpleto na ako” dahil ika nga, learning is a lifelong process. Nuks. Cliche na cliche!

Sana ay makita ko na sina Intoy at Jenn sa pinilakang tabing. At si Mercedes Cabral.

Mabuhay ang obrang malaya! Mabuhay ang sining nating mga Pinoy. Padayon!